Much Needed Update

I am sorry. I have been a bad, bad blogger!

The month of November was SUPER emotional as both my DH last grandparents passed away within weeks of each other. I find one of the hardest times in a relationship is when your significant other is in a situation that you can do nothing about. I so badly wanted to take the pain and sadness away from him.

Christmas has finally hit our household. We got the tree last week and I have been decorating since then. Today I think is a good present wrapping day.

In other news...I was "terminated" from work while I was on medical leave. Yes...I am still on medical leave...more on that later. I got a lawyer and am now in the process of filing and submitting paperwork for this. Does the drama never seem to end!?

A couple weeks ago due to the pregnancy and the accidents I was approved for disability...which was huge. That meant I could buy DH Christmas presents without borrowing money from him. I have always been a pretty financially independent person and that month and a half of no income was really hard. Sure...I had savings...but after paying my bills and misc for two months that was looking pretty non-existent.

On the pregnancy front...

I am currently 25 weeks. Starting about 6ish weeks ago I was getting this intense pressure and pain in my pelvis. After the approval of my specialist I was sent to a maternity chiropractor who informed me that the left side of my pelvis was tilted and twisted in to my right side. She said it could have been like this for months and I was just starting to feel the pain now because of the 15 extra "baby" pounds and relaxin coursing through my body. This pain makes it super hard to lay down which as you can probably tell already is effecting my sleeping. Stairs are also tough. I find I can last on my feet for a lot less time then I use to...and when I do something like grocery shopping I am wiped for the rest of the day. I feel less and less like me with every passing day. I think I have gotten pretty big...here is a picture to prove it!

4 Weeks Pregnant

23 Weeks Pregnant

I am very VERY grateful I am not working because I do not know how I would get through work at this point. With the lack of sleep, pain and otherwise this has been a very interesting pregnancy to say the least!
I am still seeing my doctor, specialist and a women's center at regular intervals to monitor mine and babies progress due to all the complications.

Baby girl is the most active at nights. In fact...most of the time she keeps me up with all her ninja kicking and punching at my uterus. I am thankful for these movements though because they are a constant reminder that she is doing ok. I am getting excited as I near the end and am looking forward to things like my 3D ultrasound and baby showers! I also cannot wait to finally meet her...what a crazy journey this has been!

21 Weeks Pregnant!

 Your baby's eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed, and she can now blink.
Chances are good you're feeling someone performing a round-off back handspring in your uterus by now.

By now your baby looks like a mini-version of what she'll look like when she's born. All her facial features are formed and hair is growing on her head. She's even acting like a baby and will occasionally suck her thumb or yawn.

Baby's heartbeat is getting stronger and can be heard using a good old-fashioned stethoscope. By 21 weeks, fetal bone marrow starts making blood cells—previously done by the liver and spleen. This may not sound that exciting, but it's good news.

The amniotic fluid that has been cushioning your little bean now serves another purpose: Your baby uses it to "practice" chowing down. Your baby has been swallowing amniotic fluid for a while now, but now the intestines are finally developed enough that she's absorbing small amounts of sugars from it. And let's face it, being able to effectively digest sugar is important at every stage of life.

Your baby now weighs between 10 and 11 ounces and is approximately 7 inches long—the size of a delicious, cold, frothy bottle of root beer. Float anyone?



My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Larger chest
- Acne
- Fatigue
- Aversion to water
- My growing belly!
- Little "popping" sensations near pelvic area. Baby is sitting/laying VERY low.
- HUNGRY
- Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (All I have to say is ouch...look it up...I would say this is almost worse then the nausea I had for weeks)

Best Moment Of The Week:

Being able to slip in the fact when I talk to strangers that I am having a girl. Being able to go out and actually SHOP for a girl!

Milestones:

I am over halfway there. Do not think for one second that the worrying has lessened though. When I do not feel her movements for a long period of time I start to get really worried. Most of the time though when she moves I am in an awkward sitting position (this must bother her because of how low I am carrying) or just before bed at night when I am on my left side. Other then that movements are very sporadic and if I do happen to have my hand close to my belly I feel nothing. Poor DH...he wants to be a part of this so bad!

Appointments:

November 27th - DR. S
November 28th - Women's Center

Other Info & Thoughts:

Other then the SPD - which makes walking, stairs, sleeping and lifting my legs painful - everything is peachy. I finally have a huge appetite back. But...this doesn't mean I can stuff myself...I find if I do I feel extremely sick afterwards.
I hate that I have to wait so long until my next appointment. Because of everything that has happened I just like the reassurance that everything is going to be ok. Maybe if the baby moved a little more I would feel a little better but not so...
One thing that I love is hearing DH talk about the baby. He has all these thoughts and ideas and I cannot wait to see him turn to a daddy's girl mush bag.
I love how they mention rootbeer floats in the baby timeline events because I have been so majorly craving them! I don't think our household has gone though a 2L of pop that quickly ever!

Extra Extra - Read All About It

It certainly has been a couple weeks of super highs and super lows. I know some of you have been really worried about my lack of posts and to be quite honest I did not want to post anything until we had gotten all the testing back. So...here is the deal. Baby looks fine. I had diagnostic testing done and everything with the baby looks right on track. What they are now concerned about is me. Apparently when pregnant the veins and arteries around the uterus grow and develop differently. Mine are not doing that. This can lead to things such as pre-term labor and low birth weight of the baby. I have been sent to a womens center about an hour from where I live for further testing on this. Although this was somewhat interesting news DH and I were relieved to hear that the baby for all purposes looked like it was thriving and developing just fine. I am still on bed rest and will probably be for the rest of the pregnancy.

In other news....IT'S A GIRL!
As you can see by the pic our pup was
quite excited to see those pink balloons rise to the ceiling!











 
20 Weeks Pregnant:

Up until now your baby has been measured from crown to rump but from this point on the measurement will be from crown to heel – and this week she is about 26cm long and is steadily gaining weight. A whitish coat of a slick, fatty substance called vernix caseosa begins to cover your baby, protecting her skin during its long immersion in amniotic fluid. It also eases birth. Your baby's swallowing more this week, good practice for her digestive system. After your baby takes in amniotic fluid, her body absorbs the water in the liquid and moves the rest into her large bowel. In her bowel, a sticky by-product of her digestive system, called meconium, accumulates. It'll appear in her first nappy after she's born.

Your baby has established sleep patterns akin to a newborn now. Many babies even have a favorite sleep position already. Some snooze with their chins resting on their chests, while others nap with their head flung back. Many babies at this age fall into noticeable cycles of sleep and activity, so you may know before she arrives whether you have a night owl or an early bird.





From this point forward, your baby will put most of her energy into gaining weight and, not coincidentally, so will you! Right now your baby weighs approximately 10½ ounces and is about 6½ inches long, about the size of a can of Red Bull - but you really shouldnt be consuming that...try a cantelope...which is another good idea of how big your little one is!

My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Larger chest
- Temp generally back to normal and have started sleeping with the duvet again
- Skin is getting better...only minor dryness and acne as subsided
- There are still some days when I feel nausea but generally I am only getting sick about once a week!
- Fatigue
- Tried to drink water the other day and proceeded to throw up the rest of the night...
- Tingling, burning, tight Nipples
- My growing belly!
- Little "popping" sensations near pelvic area. Baby is sitting/laying VERY low.

Best Moment Of The Week:

Revealing the gender to friends and family. The party was so much fun. I will post some pic in another post. The day certainly took a lot out of me though. I have spent most of yesterday and today in bed.

Milestones:

Feeling the littler flutters. They are coming more frequently now. Although I have an anterior placenta so I will not be able to feel crazy movement for a little while. Bummer. DH is bummed too that I am the only one who can feel these things. He cannot wait until he can put his hand on my belly to feel those kicks and punches from our little karate kid.

Appointments:

November 27th - DR. S
November 28th - Women's Center

Other Info & Thoughts:

I would LOVE to go from here on without anymore bad news. This pregnancy has been super scary. I have decided though that February and March I will be taking the bed rest I am on a little more seriously so I do not go into labor too early. It is going to drive me crazy but I cannot really be thinking of me at this point...there is too much else at stake.

Ugh...maternity clothes. The bane of my existence. Why cant they be super cute and super flattering. The WORST are the PJs. For those of you in Canada you know how bad the selection is at Thyme. Brutal.

I can't believe how our list of "baby needs" seems to grow every month! Even though I am trying to be super budget conscious and buy a lot second hand it costs a freaking lot to have a baby. My disability insurance due to bed rest kicks in at the end of this month so I can stop being so broke and actually start really getting going on all the major purchases. Although...I am very appreciative to have that. I do not know where DH and I would be without EI and LTD.

Thank you for all your wonderful thoughts and prayers that I have received. I have such an amazing blog community. Luv and hugs! :)

The Hits Just Keep Coming

I spent Sunday in the ER because I was bleeding and having contractions and thought my water might have broken. Much testing and many ultrasounds later and I was told everything was fine. I even went in to my specialists office this morning and he took another look and did another exam and said everything looked perfect.

I was just starting to breath easy when the phone rang right before dinner. It was my specialist calling after hours. I immediately knew something was wrong...there would be no reason for him to call that late unless there was.

DH and I had blood testing done for abnormalities and this was the call we were dreading. I have been told we have a 1 in 5 chance that the baby has down syndrome or a possible life threatening disease. We are devastated. My doctor recommended an amniocentesis. I will get a call tomorrow letting me know when the testing will be done. Probably some time this week as I have been told it needs to happen ASAP. I am so not looking forward to them shoving a gigantic needle through my stomach.

Because of this I had to call DH and ask him to come home. He is away on a hunting trip and if I am going to get this procedure done I want him by my side. I feel just awful and guilty about asking him to come home but I do not think I could do this without him.

I feel like I have not been able to enjoy this pregnancy at all. Just as I am able to ...WHAM...I get news like this. This is something DH and I want so badly and I just think it is all so unfair. It makes no sense.

I am nervous about the testing and the risks it brings. I want to be happy and excited in this pregnancy so badly. Sometimes life sucks. Today sucked. Royally sucked.

I'm Not Ready Yet

Anyone who has been pregnant or currently pregnant knows the changes that happen emotionally, physically and mentally. Sometimes it is pretty overwhelming. At almost 17 weeks my body is changing and I am still dealing with some pretty fierce "morning sickness". As if that isn't enough I am now dealing with the anxiety of becoming a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) and ...it is freaking the hell out of me.

I have always been an independent - has a job, pays her own way, does what she wants woman - and it scares me to know I will be completely dependent upon someone else.

Gone are the days when I can have a girls shopping weekend in Seattle and drop a couple hundred dollars. And it is not just that. It is the little things. I do not think the wonderful - trying to be understanding - man in my life can quite grasp my feelings behind this. My latest revelation was yesterday. We ran out of toilet paper. Normally this wouldn't be an issue...I would drive up the the store and buy the items needed for the week or whatever we were out of. No biggie. Except...it doesn't work like that anymore...I have to ask DH to go buy something as simple as toilet paper or female hygiene products because I am essentially penniless. I still have medical leave payments coming in but between paying my own bills (cell, insurance, gas, credit card) and still helping with the mortgage payments it leaves me pretty strapped from week to week.

I couldn't help but think.. what happens when that monetary safety net is gone? I get a year of maternity leave benefits and then what? DH and I have made the decision that I will be staying at home raising our kids but I have to admit I am going to miss the financial freedom of earning an income. I am not saying being a SAHM won't be rewarding...but knowing life is going to change big time and I will no longer have financial control over anything is really scary.

Essentially after maternity leave benefits wear out DH will take on the responsibility of paying my cell phone, insurance, gas, etc, etc. I realize I will be making a life contribution as well keeping our home tidy, arranging meals and raising the kids (how Martha Stewart/Betty Crocker of me) but how do you other women not feel guilty about hitting up starbucks ...or going out with a girlfriend for dinner? How do you justify spending money on yourself? There comes a point in time where I am going to need shoes and clothes and to get a hair cut...all the little things I have just taken for granted I will now need permission for. Yikes.

DH doesn't get it... But at the end of the day it is HIS NAME that is on that pay cheque. It doesnt say ________ & Family. As far as the government accounting department is concerned I bring nothing to the table.

As I was in tears last night trying to get across my feelings DH just didn't get it. His words of - "But you will be making just as an important contribution raising the kids. I will have to completely be dependent on you for that." - were somewhat reassuring that he is not the type of man to "lord over the income" to our household but it makes me wonder how he would feel having that financial aspect taken from him? Would he feel differently if he had to ask for gas money to get to the store to buy toilet paper...? I think so.

For now I am only getting a taste of what is to come. March 2014 will be the real start of this panic inducing madness. Until then I have to start changing my mindset from a "his and mine" to an "ours". Things are going to change and no...I probably will not ever get used to being completely financially dependent upon someone else but there will be good things too. I will be there for the first smile, first birthday, first steps and much much more. That's life. Real life. But no college diploma of mine will have quite prepared me for that. 

16 Weeks Pregnant!

Your baby is already mugging for the camera as she practices all sorts of facial expressions, such as squinting, yawning and grimacing.

If your baby is a girl, her uterus is fully developed and the ovaries already hold primitive egg cells.


Your baby's skin is still translucent and wrinkly, not unlike an old man's, but more fat will soon accumulate under the dermas to plump her out. If you could peer inside right now, you'd be able to see all the veins under the skin. And speaking of veins, your baby's heart now pumps about 25 quarts of blood per day. Eyes are now locked and loaded at their final destination, facing forward rather than to the sides.


This is the week women get an amniocentesis, if their doc recommends it. In addition to supplying doctors with a boatload of info about the baby's health, amnios are also more than 99 percent accurate in determining what version of baby you'll be having. So if you want to know and you're getting an amnio, now's a great time to find out for sure.

Your baby is now some 10cm long from crown to rump, about the size of an avocado, and weighs about 100g. In the next three weeks your little avocado will go through a tremendous growth spurt, doubling in weight and adding centimeters to length.

My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Larger chest
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Dry Lips & skin - especially on my face...major peeling
- Nausea has lessened and I feel all day nausea some days all day but am only throwing up about every other day now!
- Fatigue
- Tried to drink water the other day and proceeded to throw up the rest of the night...
- Tingling, burning, tight Nipples
- Pregnancy Acne - a little less a this point
- My growing belly!
- Little "popping" sensations near pelvic area

Best Moment Of The Week:

Taking to my dad's mother about her pregnancy with him. Such a good bonding moment. I also got to start planning on Gender Reveal Party.

Milestones:

Thinking I MIGHT have felt the baby move....just maybe...but not sure what it was...and it has only happened once.

Appointments:

October 29th - Gender assessment
November 2nd - Dr. Y seals in envelope what gender we are having for DH and I to find out later that night together!

Other Info & Thoughts:

Not much has happened this week. Just chugging along. This is the longest time I will go between ultrasounds and that is a little scary...I like the calming effect of seeing that little heartbeat. Three more weeks until I see that again.

I have started to eat more and more. This past weekend was Thanksgiving and I went to my parents for a huge dinner, then to an extended family thing for dessert after that and then I went home and ate two bagels!!! I couldn't believe how much I consumed. This morning I also woke up at about 4AM and HAD To eat something...so I had an apple. It is definitely nice not throwing up everything I eat now. Makes mealtimes a thousand times more enjoyable.

I thought I MIGHT be able to get away with finally drinking straight water a couple day ago so I gave it a go. It was a complete fail. An hour later I spent the rest of the night on the toilet after dry heaving for what seemed like forever. So...as for now...water is still not an option...I feel awful about that but I am trying to get my liquids in other forms such as juices, creme frapps, milk, etc.

4 more weeks until I hit the halfway point...

15 Weeks Pregnant!

I've been MIA again. I apologize! But let me explain! For the past two weeks my mom has been in the hospital and then over the weekend my husbands grandmother passed away. Needless to say it has been a few emotionally draining weeks. I didn't end up posting my 14 week info because of a family emergency so I will just skip right to 15 weeks. Hopefully that is acceptable.

15 Weeks:

Although many women don't start feeling the baby move until the 17th week (or later), your baby has been having its own party in the amniotic sac it calls home. If you feel a little flutter in your belly this week, don't discount it as gas or hunger. It could be your babe banging around.


Your baby's legs are growing longer than his arms now and all his joints and limbs can move.Genitals MAY be pretty well developed by the end of this week but you will want to wait a few weeks before you can find out accurately if you should be buying pink or blue.
Baby's head is now resting on his well-formed neck instead of directly on his shoulders like Igor. Baby is also beginning to grow eyebrows and eyelashes this week. The hair on the head also begins to grow.

Although baby's eyes are sealed shut, now he or she is able to sense light. Eyes and ears finally look like real baby features now. As your baby practices sucking and swallowing actions, he or she may actually hiccup.


Although YOU have only probably gained about 5 pounds or so over the next month, baby will grow faster than ever, so make sure you load up on enough nutritious food and fluids to support his growth. Your baby now measures nearly 4 inches, about the size of a Kit Kat "finger" (regular-size, not the Big one you get at the movies) - or again if you are going healthy...a navel orange, and weighs almost 2 ounces.



My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Larger chest...at times sore
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips & skin - especially on my face...major peeling
- Nausea has lessened and I feel nausea some days all day but am only throwing up about once a day now!
- Fatigue
- Minor aversion to water...thinking about drinking it causes more of a gag reflex
- Tingling, burning, tight Nipples
- Pregnancy Acne
- My growing belly!

Best Moment Of The Week:

DH coming to my appointment with Dr.S and actually getting so see an ultrasound of the baby first hand!

Milestones:

Booking our 3D scan and anticipating our gender testing on the 29th!

Appointments:

October 7th - Lab blood work
October 18th with Dr. Y
October 29th - Gender assessment

Other Info & Thoughts:

Throwing up is getting really really old. There are some days I feel pretty good and then BAM it hits and then others I feel nauseated all day and then end the day getting sick. Either way...not fun.

I have officially outgrown some of my clothes. I was a little sad. I mean...one pair of clothing was even my "comfy wear around the house pants"...that was a bummer.

I dread October and November...it means DH is gone...A LOT. He is almost gone half of October this year. I get left all alone with the dog ...who by the way pouts just as much about this as I do!

I am excited for my sister to come home from college over Christmas to see how big I have gotten. I think it is going to be a big shock for her!

I am offically not cleared to go back to work. Which...when I sent in the doctors information to my job must have pissed them off because I got a lay-off notice about two days later. I spent yesterday FREAKING OUT about finances while DH stood behind me as I had excel open working out our finances saying "Babe...its going to be ok. We are going to be Ok." I think more for me it is the fact that I have been independent and paying my own bills for as long as I can remember! To be completely reliant on someone else for money is a foreign concept. At least DH makes good money. But...this really threw a wrench in things. I am supposed to be taking it easy and not stressing out but that did NOT help.

Every day I feel a little better about the pregnancy but there are defiantly set backs. Like the other day a friend of mine says to me... "Did you know a pregnancy is not technically viable until the 7th month." Bubble officially burst. Then I start to think...I am only 15 weeks...finishing just my 4th month...that seems FOREVER away...will I make it!?!!? Oh boy...this growing a baby thing is stressful....!