The Hits Just Keep Coming

I spent Sunday in the ER because I was bleeding and having contractions and thought my water might have broken. Much testing and many ultrasounds later and I was told everything was fine. I even went in to my specialists office this morning and he took another look and did another exam and said everything looked perfect.

I was just starting to breath easy when the phone rang right before dinner. It was my specialist calling after hours. I immediately knew something was wrong...there would be no reason for him to call that late unless there was.

DH and I had blood testing done for abnormalities and this was the call we were dreading. I have been told we have a 1 in 5 chance that the baby has down syndrome or a possible life threatening disease. We are devastated. My doctor recommended an amniocentesis. I will get a call tomorrow letting me know when the testing will be done. Probably some time this week as I have been told it needs to happen ASAP. I am so not looking forward to them shoving a gigantic needle through my stomach.

Because of this I had to call DH and ask him to come home. He is away on a hunting trip and if I am going to get this procedure done I want him by my side. I feel just awful and guilty about asking him to come home but I do not think I could do this without him.

I feel like I have not been able to enjoy this pregnancy at all. Just as I am able to ...WHAM...I get news like this. This is something DH and I want so badly and I just think it is all so unfair. It makes no sense.

I am nervous about the testing and the risks it brings. I want to be happy and excited in this pregnancy so badly. Sometimes life sucks. Today sucked. Royally sucked.