Symptom Or AF?!

7DPO

After my emotional end to the day yesterday I went home to DH who proceeded to lift my spirits. Love that man...I feel much better today. OR perhaps I am just still numb from the shock of it all.

Before falling asleep last night I noticed that my bbs hurt so much I couldn't sleep as I normally do on either side...I had to try to fall asleep on my back. I had some pretty crazy dreams so I am not entirely sure how I slept....Anyways, I woke up this morning to the same tenderness in the bb area as well as my chest aching. Not exactly sure if this is PG related or AF related as my scheduled AF arrival is supposed to be for Monday.
I also forgot to mention in my last posts usually I run pretty dry after OV but my CM since OV has ranged from sticky to eggwhite to creamy. Very strange. I also continue to have a sore throat and stuffy nose upon waking...I just figured I was getting sick this week...but other then fatigue I feel fine.

So to wrap it all up in a nice list for you these are my It-Could-All-Be-In-My-Head Symptoms:

- Bb tenderness and aching
- Creamy CM
- Stuffy nose and sore throat upon waking
- Very hungry this morning (abnormal)
- Twinges in pelvic area just after I sit down
- Fatigue (what's new?)
- My temp is also sitting above the cover line but is the same as yesterday at 97.6. Hopefully that eggie is just burrowing in there really well and that is why my temp hasn't had its second rise yet.

Also...I should note...I am been very cautious about making sure the room has been extra dark for the last couple nights and I read in my lunaception readings that has an affect on temp as it keeps it more stable which also could account for the lack of second rise. Sleeping in complete darkness during the night is supposed to be a natural way to raise keep progesterone at a good level and I think I can get all the help in that area I need because of my short LP.

Tomorrow I am going to a fertility specialist. I am really not sure what to expect. It is my hope that I am already pregnant and it is just a precautionary visit but I want to make sure I have covered all my bases.

I should also admit that I POAS yesterday. lol. I know, I know I was only 6DPO but I dont know...maybe I was going through POAS withdrawal or something because it seemed like a really good idea at the time. I pretty much got the BFN I was expecting. Silly me.

Letting Off Some Steam

I am ashamed to admit I just had a cry fest at work in the bathroom. Don't worry...its a private bathroom..it was only a pity party of one.
What you should know is the tears had nothing to do with TTC what so ever. It's my freaking job. Don't get me wrong, as far as jobs go this one is pretty good...the only problem is all the false promises they made to me...like a 3 month raise that never happened and then a 9 month raise ...that still has not happened. The issue I have is I turned down two other jobs to take this job with the promise of these raises and am mad at myself because the other jobs were offering me more which this company promised to match and exceed if I took THEIR offer. So much for that. I feel like such a fool and now like I am in between a rock and a hard place...and really stuck. I don't want to throw a full blown temper tantrum over what should have been rightfully mine as stated within my job offer and I think quitting and getting another job is out of the question as well. So...basically I am just having a pity party. One where I am mentally cursing out my boss in many different unladylike words.
The major problem is without this raise DH and I cannot afford the house we want. And without my raise when mat-leave comes I will be getting a lot less in payout then I should. It is like a waterfall effect. A shit waterfall that is. Fuming doesn't even begin to describe what I am feeling like on the inside.
I really do not know what to do at this point. I have met and exceeded all expectations set forth....I have done my part...I've been a good employee...now I think it's time for them to be a good employer - if that even exists....
*....sigh....*

Implant Dip?

6DPO

The It-Could-All-Be-In-My-Head-Symptoms

- Slightly tender bbs
- Fuller bbs
- Temp went down but remained above the cover line.
- Super tired
- Some cramping

Not a whole lot to report today just extremly tired. I wouldnt go to work except.. oh yea...bills need to be paid, food needs to go on the table and that roof over my head definately is not free. Bummer. Shoulda been a gold digger, lol.

Halfway There

My life feels like a Bon Jovi song at the moment...

"We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
We'll give it a shot.
Oooo We're half way there - Oho Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear -
Ohoh livin' on a prayer."

5DPO and here are my It-Could-All-Be-In-My-Head Symptoms:

- Restless sleep AGAIN last night...leaving to a very out of it and tired morning so far
- Nipps are still sensitive.
- Boobs SLIGHTLY tender and I noticed yesterday that they are slightly enlarged as well.
- Still cramping
- Still gassy
- Temp still high
- Stuffy/Runny nose this morning (perhaps that is due to the lack of sleep and a cold is looming?)
- Darkened larger nipps?
Updates as of now (afternoon)
- Pulling/twingin odd feeling in middle of pelvic area...almost like a poking
- HUNGRY all morning. Eating eating eating. Soooo not normal for me as I am not a morning eater. Food tends to just generally gross me out in the morning.
- Heartburn...oh the agony...

The baby shower last night was good. They are having a girl - we're happy for them. Truly. I voted girl and DH voted boy so I won, lol - mother-to-be intuition...?? Now for the not so funny part. Now, DH knew I was not thrilled at attending another baby function. The event was held in a big back room at a restaurant/pub. We walk in and her mom ushers us to our seats at the table. We sit down and make casual talk with the people around us and the conversation flows fine until the girl next to me gets up to go to the bathroom. The very almost ready to pop -due in a couple weeks pregnant girl. I am pretty sure I stopped talking mid-sentence. DH's eyes went wide and he was like, "oh babe...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...of course we get sat next to her." And I pretty much just looked at him, put a smile on my face and said "well, that is just my luck now isn't it." I am very impressed at myself for now losing it. Minor victory!
On a good note my mind will be taken off of all things baby tonight as it is the finale of The Bachelor. I know what you are thinking ...but it is like a car wreck..I can't stop watching. Now that I hate Courtney so much I have to see it to the end! lol

I am currently have way through this "two week wait" and I have absolutely NO idea what to think...I mean...my temps are high...that's good right? But I really have no concrete symptoms. If any of my symptoms change, increase, decrease or what have you I will be sure to update my post. Until that point I just have to get through this monday...and workday...(bleh).

P.S - Anyone else getting wierded out at how similar my chart is from November when I became pregnant...it is sorta creepy!
Take a look:
See..I told you...creepy...

Interesting Similarities

I love using fertility friend.  You learn so much about yourself and I would highly recommend it to anyone TTC. Although sometimes I find it hard to interpret just what is happening - or should be happening - sometimes I get a glimpse of something that gives me hope.

This morning I compared this cycle to my last cycle in the overlay and this is what I got:

As you can see...after ovulation and even before they look nothing alike. My temp on the last cycle never hit above 97.6.
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Now lets compare this current cycle to the one where I became pregnant:

This cycle is obviously WAY closer then the last! I also know I implanted on the 6thDPO on my pregnancy cycle so I am looking forward to see what this chart will do as for a dip.Also this mornings temp hit 97.8. Now I have no clue how much the time change and my restless sleep affect that but I am taking it as a win!

As for my It-Could-All-Be-In-My-Head Symptoms:

I just got up so I don't have a whole lot to report just as of yet. If some more pop up throughout the day I will be sure to come back and edit my post:

- Restless night sleep (I had this both last night -DH being sick - and tonight - DH still recovering). If I can remember my pregnancy cycle correctly though that happened as well. I started off sleeping like a rock and then sleep got harder and harder and I ended up having to take naps.
- Still cramping
- Boobs still aching (not sore or anything to the touch but just ache)
- Nipps still sensitive
- Upper backache last night - Lower backache this morning.
- Temp up again

Maybe this cycle isn't a bust after all....?

Wishing For More

3DPO

My It-Could-All-Be-In-My-Head Symptoms:

- Woke up with heartburn again
- Bbs ache...don't hurt or feel full or anything just weird aching
- Temp up - but not sure if it is at all warranted because DH was sick last night and I had an awful sleep and took my temp later then normal
- Twinges in pelvic area
- Slightly gassy - extremely minimal just after waking though

I am not really sure what to think at this point. With my temp being incorrect due to timing and sleep patten (although high) my "symptoms" continue to disappoint me. The last pregnancy my bbs hurt almost immediately, got very swollen and were very sensitive. I really have none of that and the last cycle was exactly like this as well which led to nothing. I know it is WAY early for major symptoms especially without a possible implant but a girl can hope...and dream...and wish...and pray!

Searching For Signs

2 Days Past Ovulation (DPO)

I am at that stage. The stage of making mountains out of molehills. Taking every little hiccup/twinge/soreness/etc and trying to turn it into a possible pregnancy symptom. Over analysing EVERYTHING. But...I have to admit..I love it. I love this wait so much better compared to the dull ovulation wait.

Possible It-All-May-Be-In-My-Head Symptoms:

 - This morning I woke up with a sore throat, heartburn and a stuffy nose (cold or pregnancy...? Hmmmm)
 - Bb/nipp tenderness gone. (sad face)
 - I had a VERY vivid dream last night...which is odd...I usually never dream.
 - I am slightly gassy but that could just be due to something I ate
 - Last night right before I fell asleep I had these weird cramps on my lower right side
 - Slept like a rock
 - Rise in temp

And...that's it. Nothing too spectacular for only two days in. In fact...most of these I had the last cycle and did not end up on the pregnancy wagon.

As for other news...well there isn't a whole lot... I will post about the baby shower on Monday. Boo to the time change by the way...I much prefer the fall when we gain an hour. Happy weekend and here is to hoping I get some obvious fabulous symptoms before next week!