That right there folks in a head, two little arms and a sweet little body with a strong heart just beating away!
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Sweet Child Of Mine
The doctors visit went great today! He is really concerned that I have lost 5 pounds since the last time I saw him due to the throwing up of everything that I eat....but other then that all looks great. In fact...see for yourself!
That right there folks in a head, two little arms and a sweet little body with a strong heart just beating away!
That right there folks in a head, two little arms and a sweet little body with a strong heart just beating away!
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
10 Weeks Pregnant!
Your baby has finally morphed from a little tadpole into, well, a baby. Not only is the face more human-like, but that unflattering "tail" (really just the developing spinal cord) has disappeared, fusing into the spinal column.
Your baby now has discernible fingers and toes, which will explain the steady stream of kicks and punches you'll feel down the line.
Junior's skeleton is starting to grow and harden. The ears are beginning to take shape and the eyelids are no longer transparent. Tooth buds are forming, although your baby won't get any teeth until six or seven (or eight or nine or 10) months after birth.
Baby's brain will make an incredible 25,000 new neurons every minute this week. While you may feel like you're losing as many as he's gaining, we can assure you it's not permanent. "Pregnancy brain," like nausea and bloating, is a temporary symptom that soon shall pass.
If you're baby is a boy, he's started producing that macho hormone testosterone. And whether your baby is a boy or a girl, the kidneys are creating copious amounts of urine. Lucky for you, you won't have to change a diaper for another 30 weeks.
Baby weighs only 4 grams and measures 1½ inches, about the size of a mondo Brazil nut or prune. And it's not just your baby who's growing. Your uterus (womb) is now the size of a grapefruit. You may even be able to feel it above the middle of your pubic bone.
My Pregnancy Symptoms:
- Larger chest...at times sore
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips & skin - especially on my face
- Nausea every day... throwing up even with the medication..worse at night
- Fatigue
- Major Aversion to water
- Tingling Nipples
- Hunger
- My growing belly!
Best Moment Of The Week:
Not being able to "suck it in" anymore. To most it would just look like I am carrying more around my midsection but to me its a whole new world...and a whole new me...
Milestones:
Finding out that a dear person in my life is also expecting literally two weeks after me!
Appointments:
August 30th with Dr. S.
Other Info & Thoughts:
I have not spotted in a week - knock on wood, fingers crossed. Nausea is always there....worse in the evenings. I felt so bad for DH last night...he made a lovely (expensive) meal and then two hours later I was throwing it up. I feel tired all the time. Even after hours of sleeping ...I just want to crawl back in to bed.
DH and I celebrate our anniversary this coming weekend. One year married...wow...it seems like so much longer...probably because so much has happened in the last year. Three weeks from now I will announce on facebook that we are pregnant. I am super nervous about that and am anxiously waiting for my ultrasound appointment on thursday to just make sure everything is fine.
Because I am so sick I am not gaining anything. In fact from the last time I was weighed in at the Dr's office I have lost 3-4 pounds. Not good. The one thing I crave like crazy is juice. And not just any juice...It has to be in juice boxes...orange juice, apple juice, punch...I will drink it all...everything except water that is...still makes me gag. I can get away with a bit of cold milk as well. Milk goes down easier if it is in a steamed milk or hot chocolate. It is hard ensuring I am getting everything I am needed especially with me so sick.
I really wanted a doula and birth photographer but the cost was a little scary...$700...*gulp*. Thankfully I just signed a few more clients and in one signing it paid for then both. Huge weight off my shoulders and one less thing to figure out how we would save for it.
Other then that I am just waiting patiently for my 2nd trimester...I hear things get easier then. Hopefully I will be able to feel and eat a little more like a normal human being. And I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to leave with house without a bucket (just in case I get sick). One thing at a time though! Once again just thankful to be here!
Saturday, 25 August 2012
Symptoms Coming Out The Wazoo
One of the worst things I have been experiencing for about a week is morning sickness that goes hand in hand with Ptyalism (excess saliva). It seems there is always a river in my mouth. I feel like a baseball player constantly spitting every chance I get. It hits at the most annoying times too...like right before bed or in the car. I feel less then lady-like at the moment. Although DH made me laugh yesterday. I was spitting and then turned to him and was like "Oh how lady-like. Ugh...I feel less a less goddess like every day." And he was like, "What are you talking about...you are the epitome of lady-like right now...you are growing a human being. Now if that isn't lady-like I don't know what is." Awww, so sweet.
Yesterday DH stood dutifully behind me rubbing my back and I proceeded to through up all of dinner and then promptly started sobbing. Poor thing. He feels so helpless. Well, at this state I feel pretty helpless myself. I don't feel like me. I feel as though something has taken over my body and is running how I look (good ol' pregnancy acne), how I feel (morning sickness, fatigue, etc) and how I think (random emotions, etc...). Something pretty interesting though...I was looking up "excess saliva and what could help" and a link on baby center came up. I would say about 90% of the women on that board who had major excess saliva in the pregnancy gave birth to a boy...how interesting is that??? I guess we will see if I fit the statistic. I just found that intriguing.
Most sites I have been to say that morning sickness and Ptyalism go away in about the 12-14th week. so that means I have about 2-4 weeks to go until I start feeling a little better. I bought sea bands on thursday and I do not really know if they have been helping or not but at least I am trying to be proactive...My doctors keep telling me to keep it easy...I honestly just cant wait until I get my next ultrasound on thursday....seems like forever away! I promise I will get a picture this time!
Yesterday DH stood dutifully behind me rubbing my back and I proceeded to through up all of dinner and then promptly started sobbing. Poor thing. He feels so helpless. Well, at this state I feel pretty helpless myself. I don't feel like me. I feel as though something has taken over my body and is running how I look (good ol' pregnancy acne), how I feel (morning sickness, fatigue, etc) and how I think (random emotions, etc...). Something pretty interesting though...I was looking up "excess saliva and what could help" and a link on baby center came up. I would say about 90% of the women on that board who had major excess saliva in the pregnancy gave birth to a boy...how interesting is that??? I guess we will see if I fit the statistic. I just found that intriguing.
Most sites I have been to say that morning sickness and Ptyalism go away in about the 12-14th week. so that means I have about 2-4 weeks to go until I start feeling a little better. I bought sea bands on thursday and I do not really know if they have been helping or not but at least I am trying to be proactive...My doctors keep telling me to keep it easy...I honestly just cant wait until I get my next ultrasound on thursday....seems like forever away! I promise I will get a picture this time!
Thursday, 23 August 2012
First Pregnancy Related Dream
Last night I had my first pregnancy labor and delivery dream. It was crazy. It was not like I was experiencing it myself but like I was outside my own body watching. Crazy feeling...like I was back in time or in the future or something...anyways this is what happened:
I got to the hospital and for some reason DH was not with me but it seemed everyone I had ever known in life was there but he was not. I was annoyed because I progressed really fast but then for some reason they wanted me to take a nap. I took a nap but as soon as I fell asleep I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and they checked me and I was good to go... Except now I was mad because DH was not there yet. Finally there was no more waiting and just as I was about to start pushing DH walks in. One ...yes one big push later and out comes a baby. A baby with long flowing hair but was a boy...I was confused at first and crying and then when they handed the baby to me all the long hair was gone. DH and I high-fived and then I woke up. So odd...lol
Another odd thing is today is the first day in about 3 weeks where I have not felt nausea. Of course that freaks me out. Having the nausea there sort of is a good reminder that everything is ok. With everything that has happened in the past I do not really mind reminders. They sort of help me to relax about the whole thing. I also feel a lot less bloated and last night was the first night I have slept for at least 4 consecutive hours. It was bliss. The bbs still hurt and are big so that is at least good. If all my symptoms suddenly dissipated I would be seriously freaked out. Just taking it day by day at this point and happy to be pregnant!
I got to the hospital and for some reason DH was not with me but it seemed everyone I had ever known in life was there but he was not. I was annoyed because I progressed really fast but then for some reason they wanted me to take a nap. I took a nap but as soon as I fell asleep I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and they checked me and I was good to go... Except now I was mad because DH was not there yet. Finally there was no more waiting and just as I was about to start pushing DH walks in. One ...yes one big push later and out comes a baby. A baby with long flowing hair but was a boy...I was confused at first and crying and then when they handed the baby to me all the long hair was gone. DH and I high-fived and then I woke up. So odd...lol
Another odd thing is today is the first day in about 3 weeks where I have not felt nausea. Of course that freaks me out. Having the nausea there sort of is a good reminder that everything is ok. With everything that has happened in the past I do not really mind reminders. They sort of help me to relax about the whole thing. I also feel a lot less bloated and last night was the first night I have slept for at least 4 consecutive hours. It was bliss. The bbs still hurt and are big so that is at least good. If all my symptoms suddenly dissipated I would be seriously freaked out. Just taking it day by day at this point and happy to be pregnant!
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
9 Weeks Pregnant!
You may be able to hear the heartbeat this week with the help of a
Doppler! The eyelids, now completely covering the eyes, are fused and won't open until week 26. Tiny earlobes are now visible.
Baby is beginning to move, but you won't be able to feel anything for some time.
Baby is growing nipples and hair follicles. The pancreas, gallbladder, bile ducts and anus are all in place, ready to poop and pee a dozen times a day when he or she is born. Your baby's head is half the size of its body and the little chin is tucked into the chest. The tiny tail is beginning to shrink away, giving Junior a more human and less amphibious look.
This week your baby will begin to develop either male or female genitalia.
At this stage, your developing fetus is 1-inch in length, about the size of a martini olive and weighs a mere 2 grams—a little less than a penny.
My Pregnancy Symptoms:
- Sore/ heavy/ larger chest
- Darkened and larger aeolus and larger Montgomery bumps
- Trouble getting comfortable and sleeping at night
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips & skin
- Nausea every day. throwing up even with the medication
- Fatigue
- Major Aversion to water
- Burning Nipples
- Hunger
- Emotional
- And the new joy: pregnancy acne...
Best Moment Of The Week:
Being able to get through a wedding I attended without getting sick until we reached the house. Then at home I got sick twice...oh well...
Milestones:
Making it to 9 weeks!
Appointments:
August 23 with Dr. Y and August 30th with Dr. S.
Other Info & Thoughts:
The "morning sickness" is really kicking my ass, worse at night...even with medication. I just do not feel like myself. I have noticed some pants getting tighter and I definitely prefer wearing sports bras to regular bras at this point. The only liquids that stay down at this point are juice and milk...don't even talk to me about water...*barf*. Food is depressing to eat because it just comes back up again.
I spotted tuesday morning and evening, wednesday morning and evening, thursday morning and yesterday afternoon. However Tuesday-Thursday was bright red, only lasted about an hour and then went away. Yesterday was not red. No cramping or clotting so I have been told there is nothing to worry about and it is "normal" but it still scares the shit out of me. DH still thinks it is a good sign that I am getting so sick...even though I would never wish this on anyone...
Because I am so sick and tired nothing around the house usually gets done and I dont like leaving the house for fear of getting sick in public. You cannot really tell I am pregnant at this point so all I would be is the weird girl throwing up in the corner or on the side of the road. Not cool. I am hoping this eases up. I could really use a break. Also...I never use to get acne...I had pretty clear skin...not now...I have got bumps on my arms, chest, face, shoulders...and the list goes on...
Other then that I am just really looking forward to my next appointment with Dr. S to see the little babe again. I am going to try to get a picture from that appointment to post so stay tuned!
Baby is beginning to move, but you won't be able to feel anything for some time.
Baby is growing nipples and hair follicles. The pancreas, gallbladder, bile ducts and anus are all in place, ready to poop and pee a dozen times a day when he or she is born. Your baby's head is half the size of its body and the little chin is tucked into the chest. The tiny tail is beginning to shrink away, giving Junior a more human and less amphibious look.
This week your baby will begin to develop either male or female genitalia.
At this stage, your developing fetus is 1-inch in length, about the size of a martini olive and weighs a mere 2 grams—a little less than a penny.
My Pregnancy Symptoms:
- Sore/ heavy/ larger chest
- Darkened and larger aeolus and larger Montgomery bumps
- Trouble getting comfortable and sleeping at night
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips & skin
- Nausea every day. throwing up even with the medication
- Fatigue
- Major Aversion to water
- Burning Nipples
- Hunger
- Emotional
- And the new joy: pregnancy acne...
Best Moment Of The Week:
Being able to get through a wedding I attended without getting sick until we reached the house. Then at home I got sick twice...oh well...
Milestones:
Making it to 9 weeks!
Appointments:
August 23 with Dr. Y and August 30th with Dr. S.
Other Info & Thoughts:
The "morning sickness" is really kicking my ass, worse at night...even with medication. I just do not feel like myself. I have noticed some pants getting tighter and I definitely prefer wearing sports bras to regular bras at this point. The only liquids that stay down at this point are juice and milk...don't even talk to me about water...*barf*. Food is depressing to eat because it just comes back up again.
I spotted tuesday morning and evening, wednesday morning and evening, thursday morning and yesterday afternoon. However Tuesday-Thursday was bright red, only lasted about an hour and then went away. Yesterday was not red. No cramping or clotting so I have been told there is nothing to worry about and it is "normal" but it still scares the shit out of me. DH still thinks it is a good sign that I am getting so sick...even though I would never wish this on anyone...
Because I am so sick and tired nothing around the house usually gets done and I dont like leaving the house for fear of getting sick in public. You cannot really tell I am pregnant at this point so all I would be is the weird girl throwing up in the corner or on the side of the road. Not cool. I am hoping this eases up. I could really use a break. Also...I never use to get acne...I had pretty clear skin...not now...I have got bumps on my arms, chest, face, shoulders...and the list goes on...
Other then that I am just really looking forward to my next appointment with Dr. S to see the little babe again. I am going to try to get a picture from that appointment to post so stay tuned!
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
The Devil In Red
This morning I woke up to blood. Lots of deep red blood mixed with CM. My heart sank. Within an hour it pretty much stopped and went down to brown. I have no cramping which is a good sign as well. I guess I just will be taking it extra easy today. I hate how every day is a worry....I feel so helpless knowing I am literally doing everything I can do yet that may not be enough. *Big Sigh*
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
8 Weeks Pregnant!
This week, your little tadpole is starting to look a little bit more human.
The embryonic tail is just about gone, and all organs, muscles and nerves are beginning to function. In the brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Your baby's hands now bend at the wrist, and the feet are starting to lose their webbed appearance. The eyelids cover more of his eyes and tastebuds are forming on his tongue.
Your baby's eyelids, ears, upper lip and the tip of his soon-to-be adorable button nose are forming.
Baby's tiny heart has separated into four distinct chambers and is really ticking now—at a rate of 150 beats per minute. That's more than twice your resting heart rate
Your baby is now a little more than ½ inch long and is about the size of a raspberry.
My Pregnancy Symptoms:
- Sore/ heavy/ larger bbs
- Trouble getting comfortable and sleeping at night
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips
- Frequent Urination
- Nausea every day, throwing up every meal
- Fatigue
- Major Aversion to water
- Burning Nipples
- Stuffy/Runny Nose (Not sure if this is the pregnancy or just the usual bad allergies I get in July & August)
Best Moment Of The Week:
On thursday of last week I saw the baby and the little heart beating away which was pretty cool!
Milestones:
Oh morning sickness...or should I saw 24 hour a day sickness. It started about halfway into my 6th week and I was getting sick a couple times a day then gradually moved to where if I put anything in my mouth...including liquids it would come right back up. Needless to say I now have a pregnancy prescription for nausea and vomiting. Because I am so sick my best friend is convinced it is a girl. Apparently women who are really sick in the first trimester tend to have girls...we will see how true that is...
Appointments:
August 23 with Dr. Y and August 30th with Dr. S.
Thoughts:
If I ever was unsure about how pregnant I was the sickness confirms it. Even with the meds I get sick. My dinner did not last very long in my stomach tonight before coming back up. So here I sit nauseous and hungry...
Other Info:
I have started feeling super duper tired. I can even take a nap during the day and still sleep at night...that is certainly new. As for cravings and aversions I cannot really say I have anything where I have to have it RIGHT NOW just things that sound really good..like frosted flakes....their grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreaaaatttt! lol
The embryonic tail is just about gone, and all organs, muscles and nerves are beginning to function. In the brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Your baby's hands now bend at the wrist, and the feet are starting to lose their webbed appearance. The eyelids cover more of his eyes and tastebuds are forming on his tongue.
Baby's tiny heart has separated into four distinct chambers and is really ticking now—at a rate of 150 beats per minute. That's more than twice your resting heart rate
Your baby is now a little more than ½ inch long and is about the size of a raspberry.
My Pregnancy Symptoms:
- Sore/ heavy/ larger bbs
- Trouble getting comfortable and sleeping at night
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips
- Frequent Urination
- Nausea every day, throwing up every meal
- Fatigue
- Major Aversion to water
- Burning Nipples
- Stuffy/Runny Nose (Not sure if this is the pregnancy or just the usual bad allergies I get in July & August)
Best Moment Of The Week:
On thursday of last week I saw the baby and the little heart beating away which was pretty cool!
Milestones:
Oh morning sickness...or should I saw 24 hour a day sickness. It started about halfway into my 6th week and I was getting sick a couple times a day then gradually moved to where if I put anything in my mouth...including liquids it would come right back up. Needless to say I now have a pregnancy prescription for nausea and vomiting. Because I am so sick my best friend is convinced it is a girl. Apparently women who are really sick in the first trimester tend to have girls...we will see how true that is...
Appointments:
August 23 with Dr. Y and August 30th with Dr. S.
Thoughts:
If I ever was unsure about how pregnant I was the sickness confirms it. Even with the meds I get sick. My dinner did not last very long in my stomach tonight before coming back up. So here I sit nauseous and hungry...
Other Info:
I have started feeling super duper tired. I can even take a nap during the day and still sleep at night...that is certainly new. As for cravings and aversions I cannot really say I have anything where I have to have it RIGHT NOW just things that sound really good..like frosted flakes....their grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreaaaatttt! lol
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Cloud 9
Today I saw a beautiful heartbeat.
My doctor told me not to expect much...that we were keeping our expectations low but I saw the most gorgeous blob ever with a little heart just beating away.
Today by my estimation I would be 7 weeks 2 days and the baby measured just over 7 weeks 1 day...success!
I called DH just bawling and he of course thought the worse and was upset when I came on the phone bawling but I told him they were happy tears. He was a little miffed that we didn't get a picture but I told him it was not the official ultrasound so that is why we didn't get anything. Pretty much I only got one today just because of the fact I have had two losses and the doctor wanted to make sure it was a viable pregnancy.
I had some blood work done today and then go for my next ultrasound September 20th at 2:30PM at the hospital. Super stoked!
At this point I am pretty much throwing up daily. But...I am ok with that. Seeing that little heart beat away makes it all worth it.
Dear baby...you have only been here 7 weeks yet I love you so incredibly much. You already have my heart.
My doctor told me not to expect much...that we were keeping our expectations low but I saw the most gorgeous blob ever with a little heart just beating away.
Today by my estimation I would be 7 weeks 2 days and the baby measured just over 7 weeks 1 day...success!
I called DH just bawling and he of course thought the worse and was upset when I came on the phone bawling but I told him they were happy tears. He was a little miffed that we didn't get a picture but I told him it was not the official ultrasound so that is why we didn't get anything. Pretty much I only got one today just because of the fact I have had two losses and the doctor wanted to make sure it was a viable pregnancy.
I had some blood work done today and then go for my next ultrasound September 20th at 2:30PM at the hospital. Super stoked!
At this point I am pretty much throwing up daily. But...I am ok with that. Seeing that little heart beat away makes it all worth it.
Dear baby...you have only been here 7 weeks yet I love you so incredibly much. You already have my heart.
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
7 Weeks Pregnant!
This week your baby's brain is growing at a mind-boggling 100 cells per
minute within a see-through skull. If you could peer inside, you'd see
those tiny brain cells growing and growing and growing (about as quickly
as you feel like yours are shrinking and shrinking and shrinking with
your "pregnancy brain"!).In just two days, from days thirty-one to thirty-three, the brain becomes one-quarter larger. If you were to have an ultrasound, it would be able to detect the beating heart, which shows up looking like a tiny flashing light.Baby is now the approximate size of a blueberry!
Your baby's face is becoming more defined this week. A tiny mouth hole (which will be ready to wail before you know it!), tongue, nostrils and ear indentations are visible. His or her eyes are wide open, but he doesn't have irises (the colored part) yet.
Baby's arm buds are growing. At this point they look more like microscopic ping-pong paddles than arms. Baby's leg buds are also forming and will look like tiny paddles by the end of the week.
The umbilical cord—the connection between your baby and the placenta—is now visible.
Your baby is now between 1/3 and 1/4 inch long—about the length of a Tic Tac and about as heavy as an eyelash. While that sounds tiny, he or she is approximately 10,000 times bigger than at conception.
My Pregnancy Symptoms:
- Sore/ heavy/ larger bbs
- Trouble getting comfortable and sleeping at night
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips
- Frequent Urination
- Nausea almost every day/ getting sick at least once a day
- Fatigue
-Aversion to water
- Burning Nipples
- Stuffy/Runny Nose (Not sure if this is the pregnancy or just the usual bad allergies I get in July & August)
Best Moment Of The Week:
Getting to 7 weeks without red spotting!!! Yay for me!
Milestones:
This is the first pregnancy that I have gotten this far without having to go to the hospital. My naturopath is treating me for a "threatened miscarriage" due to all the spotting but so far so good!
Appointments:
August 9, 2012 - Dr. S...getting so close!
Thoughts:
The "morning sickness"/ nausea has kicked in. Usually it is not in the morning though...lol. Usually it is about mid-afternoon until right until I go to bed. I am getting sick at least once a day and now have a designated "bucket" that I carry with me throughout the house because when it strikes there is usually no getting to the washroom in time.
Other Info:
My benefits for sick leave still have not kicked in...which leaves me broker then broke. That basically means I have had no money come in since the the week of June. We took out some savings so I could pay basic bills but my claim better come in soon or things might get really interesting. I am super excited for two days from now when I see Dr.S. Since the last time he saw me I was in tears over two losses this should be a much different visit!
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?
Sorry for being MIA with no pic...I doubt one will go up now this week...this week has been tough...between the spotting and the news we got yesterday my heart just aches.
Close friends of ours went into early labor yesterday and delivered their precious baby boy. He did not make it. My thoughts yesterday were consumed with sadness and grief for their loss. I cannot even imagine...I do not even want to imagine what that would be like. They are such amazing people and would be great parents...why does this world we live in have to be so cruel?
Every day that goes by brings me closer to my doctors appointment where I will be hopefully send for an early ultrasound. I need to know if everything is ok. On the plus side...my cervix has NEVER felt like this...all high and large and soft and squishy. That's a new one. That never happened with the last pregnancy. Lately I am SO BLOATED and sleeping is so hard. Well..sleeping last night was extremely hard due to the upsetting news but in general I just cannot seem to get comfortable and then when I finally do fall asleep I have to wake up to go to the washroom yet again, lol.
To add to the bad news we found out the market where we live is just doing awful. We have had our house up for sale for a couple months and want to be moved on to something else before the little one gets here and after hearing about the stats last night from our realtor we are not very positive that will happen anytime soon. Because we got such a late summer everyone is hitting the road... AND mortgage rates and approval legislation was changed in July which is greatly affecting what people can by and how they are spending their money now. Total bummer.
Being on bed rest is...well...boring. You can only read so many books and watch so much TV before you are tapped out. And because I am considered "high risk" I am not allowed to do any lifting or housework. Do you know how hard that is being home all day long? I feel so useless.
I had a dream last night that I miscarried. It was not what I needed at this point. I know it will always be in the back of my mind but I just wish there was a point I could legitimately stop worrying about it. My doctor says spotting is completly normal...but ...I don't know...most women who I have spoken with who have spotted have ended up losing the pregnancy. It is really out of my hands....which is really not helpful for this control freak type-A personality that I am. The only thing I can do at this point is take it day by day with prayer and hope for the best.
Close friends of ours went into early labor yesterday and delivered their precious baby boy. He did not make it. My thoughts yesterday were consumed with sadness and grief for their loss. I cannot even imagine...I do not even want to imagine what that would be like. They are such amazing people and would be great parents...why does this world we live in have to be so cruel?
Every day that goes by brings me closer to my doctors appointment where I will be hopefully send for an early ultrasound. I need to know if everything is ok. On the plus side...my cervix has NEVER felt like this...all high and large and soft and squishy. That's a new one. That never happened with the last pregnancy. Lately I am SO BLOATED and sleeping is so hard. Well..sleeping last night was extremely hard due to the upsetting news but in general I just cannot seem to get comfortable and then when I finally do fall asleep I have to wake up to go to the washroom yet again, lol.
To add to the bad news we found out the market where we live is just doing awful. We have had our house up for sale for a couple months and want to be moved on to something else before the little one gets here and after hearing about the stats last night from our realtor we are not very positive that will happen anytime soon. Because we got such a late summer everyone is hitting the road... AND mortgage rates and approval legislation was changed in July which is greatly affecting what people can by and how they are spending their money now. Total bummer.
Being on bed rest is...well...boring. You can only read so many books and watch so much TV before you are tapped out. And because I am considered "high risk" I am not allowed to do any lifting or housework. Do you know how hard that is being home all day long? I feel so useless.
I had a dream last night that I miscarried. It was not what I needed at this point. I know it will always be in the back of my mind but I just wish there was a point I could legitimately stop worrying about it. My doctor says spotting is completly normal...but ...I don't know...most women who I have spoken with who have spotted have ended up losing the pregnancy. It is really out of my hands....which is really not helpful for this control freak type-A personality that I am. The only thing I can do at this point is take it day by day with prayer and hope for the best.
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