Thursday 2 August 2012

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

Sorry for being MIA with no pic...I doubt one will go up now this week...this week has been tough...between the spotting and the news we got yesterday my heart just aches.

Close friends of ours went into early labor yesterday and delivered their precious baby boy. He did not make it. My thoughts yesterday were consumed with sadness and grief for their loss. I cannot even imagine...I do not even want to imagine what that would be like. They are such amazing people and would be great parents...why does this world we live in have to be so cruel?

Every day that goes by brings me closer to my doctors appointment where I will be hopefully send for an early ultrasound. I need to know if everything is ok. On the plus side...my cervix has NEVER felt like this...all high and large and soft and squishy. That's a new one. That never happened with the last pregnancy. Lately I am SO BLOATED and sleeping is so hard. Well..sleeping last night was extremely hard due to the upsetting news but in general I just cannot seem to get comfortable and then when I finally do fall asleep I have to wake up to go to the washroom yet again, lol.

To add to the bad news we found out the market where we live is just doing awful. We have had our house up for sale for a couple months and want to be moved on to something else before the little one gets here and after hearing about the stats last night from our realtor we are not very positive that will happen anytime soon. Because we got such a late summer everyone is hitting the road... AND mortgage rates and approval legislation was changed in July which is greatly affecting what people can by and how they are spending their money now. Total bummer.

Being on bed rest is...well...boring. You can only read so many books and watch so much TV before you are tapped out. And because I am considered "high risk" I am not allowed to do any lifting or housework. Do you know how hard that is being home all day long? I feel so useless.

I had a dream last night that I miscarried. It was not what I needed at this point. I know it will always be in the back of my mind but I just wish there was a point I could legitimately stop worrying about it. My doctor says spotting is completly normal...but ...I don't know...most women who I have spoken with who have spotted have ended up losing the pregnancy. It is really out of my hands....which is really not helpful for this control freak type-A personality that I am. The only thing I can do at this point is take it day by day with prayer and hope for the best.

No comments:

Post a Comment