6 Weeks Pregnant!

This week starts a period of rapid cellular development for your baby-to-be, who looks like a mini tadpole, with a tiny head and tail. His or her eyes, ears and mouth have begun to form (though they're a little more Discovery Channel "creatures of the sea" documentary than Gerber Baby at this point).

Your baby's heart is now beating to a regular beat, although it's still too faint to hear.

His or her arm buds are just beginning to, well, bud. They look like teensy swollen bumps at this point. In a few days, they'll resemble itsy-bitsy flippers.

Your baby has grown to ⅛ inch long—about the size of one of the chocolate sprinkles on your last cupcake (and your last ice cream cone, and your last sundae and your last giant cookie ... maybe there is something to those rumors about pregnancy cravings!).

The baby and the yolk sac are about the size of an M&M's candy - or as the picture shows...a sweet pea.


A month after conception, the embryo looks something like a newt or a tadpole, and it has gills like a fish! Right now, the embryo of our future baby looks much like the embryo of any other animal—a bird, rabbit, or monkey. It has two tiny cups of pigment on the side of its head that will develop into eyes. Tiny buds that will form the lungs have appeared. The neural tube has closed. One end is flattening and expanding to become the brain, and the other end will become the spine. It's already 10,000 times larger than the fertilized egg. The embryo doesn't have gender characteristics yet, but has little dots where the nipples will be, whether it's a boy or a girl. The heart, a tiny U-shaped tube, will start beating between days twenty-one and twenty-four and is circulating the embryo's own blood. It has a small mouth and lips and fingernails are forming.

My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Sore/ heavy/ larger bbs
- Trouble getting comfortable and sleeping at night
- Generally feeling much warmer
- Bloated
- Dry Lips
- Frequent Urination

Best Moment Of The Week:

Telling DH's parents. His dad's face lit up and his mom cried. It was awesome.

Milestones:

Calling the doctor frantic with questions and concerns.

Appointments:

August 9 2012 - Dr. S

Thoughts:

Still a nervous Nelly and analyzing everything that may be a concern on the TP. I have not really connected with the pregnancy yet. I think that is just because of the two losses and not really feeling like I can allow myself to get excited about it yet. I hate calling DH at work in tears like I did yesterday. I feel so bad for doing it but I needed to talk to him. Hopefully this process does not get to overwhelming for him. On the bright side I tested with another CBD test this morning and is showed " pregnant 3-4" weeks which would be pretty much on the mark because I should be 6 weeks today from my last AF give or take a few days - as I still have no idea which day I actually ovulated. I was so happy to see that higher number...to be honest it helped my heart calm down a little bit.

Other Info:

As my other posts read I spotted both last thursday and yesterday and was on the phone frantically with the doctor who told my to take my prometrium up my who-ha, stop freaking out and lay down. I feel so useless... My mom even came over today and did some laundry. So much for independence...

  6 Week Photo:

Coming soon...I should probably shower first...lol

You Want Me To Put It WHERE??

So today I started spotting again...some pink/brownish...no red as of yet. Of course a freak out ensued. I called my doctor and he had already left the office so I called my specialist who said (get this) to start taking my oral prometrium supplement vaginally. Ummm...what? When I asked the secretary who passed on the message exactly how exactly I was to do that she laughed...and then told me she had no idea. Helpful, lol. So I did a little googling and it seems that doctors suggest this when it seems a persons body is not getting the progesterone there properly orally or if for some reason you are pregnant and your cervix has not fully closed.Another reason is most medical plans will cover oral but not vaginal prometrium so most doctos just order patients the oral and tell them to take it vaginally. Confusing...

Anyways...I guess that will be my new adventure. Heck...I'm willing to try anything at this point...including shoving something up my who-ha. Here goes nothing....wish me luck!

Dreams

Last night I had dreams all night long. Everything from me going into labor and not feeling a thing (fingers crossed, lol) to my DH constantly calling me fat and me ending our marriage because of it (fyi...DH would cut off his own arm before he called me fat, lol). In the last one I actually woke up tears streaming down my face and crying! DH was like, "Whats wrong!?" And  said, "Nothing, bad dream" and then he was snoring 1.5 seconds later....so much for being concerned, haha.

I am terribly bloated (ew), and tired ALL THE TIME. Even if I have a nap throughout the day I am still tired by the end of the day.

 I forgot to mention that on Friday we told his dad and it went really well. He was thrilled. Tonight we tell his mom. It will be at her birthday dinner which will be perfect because she was not really wanting to do anything for her birthday and this will just be the thing she needs to remember her birthday and be happy about it.
DH is out walking the dog at the moment with his two really good friends and will tell them soon...if not already.

Time is just flying by but at the same time seems to go so slow! I can't believe almost two weeks ago we found out! It feels like my doctors appointment is so far away. August 9th...that seems like F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!! Hopefully we get referred for an early ultrasound and I get to hear my little bean's heart beating away. Not gonna lie...I will probably cry...tears of joy that is....what a moment that will be! Can't wait!!!

Fear

Yesterday in the washroom I noticed a TINY bit of discolored (brown/peach) CM on the TP. I, of course, immediately thought the worse because I have been cramping on and off for the last couple days. I went to lie down and it did not come back. Freaked both DH and I right out. I have been taking it REALLY easy. I barely do anything other then attend appointments, cook, sleep/nap, tidy the house and recline on the sofa while watching TV.

The only pregnancy symptoms I continue to have are fatigue, bbs fullness/tenderness/tingling, cramping, and extreme hunger at times. The frequent urination has tapered but I really have nothing else to report.

I pray everyday for a positive ultrasound. I am not sure when I will get one. I have a doctors appointment August 9th. Until then my CBD and dollar store cheepies are the only things that ease my mind. Just taking it day by day at this point. I wish there was some other way to gain more peace and comfort.

Twin Thoughts

Recently I have been comparing this time to last time. As you all pretty much assume I am still testing. Not daily but at least twice a week. Last time I only tested twice with a CBD...once when I found out and then right before we told everyone just to be sure everything was ok. Both times last time I tested way ABOVE what my weekly count should have been even though I knew exactly when I ovulated. This time I am right on track if not a few days behind. It makes me wonder....was I carrying two last time?? Why is it that my count was so much higher then the norm? And then...thinking that makes me very sad. The sorrow to have lost not one but two.

At this point I just need to make it through the next week and a half...and then we will have hit that mark...that scary MC mark. My dollar cheepie tests are getting darker so I guess that is a good sign. I continue to take breaks when I feel I need them and try to listed more carefully to my body. I am scared of the unknown but hopeful that this is our time.

I was telling DH how NOT pregnant I feel. Other then heartburn and huge, hurting bbs I really have nothing else. Believe me...I'm not begging for the nausea or anything over here but this pregnancy is just so SO SO different then the last. Last time I was sick almost every day and had major food aversions and so on but this time it really feels like a step down. Maybe that is a good thing. I was reading in one of my books last night that normally morning sickness really does not tend to hit until around 6 weeks...so I guess we will see!

5 Weeks Pregnant!

You won't look pregnant at this point but already your baby’s tiny heart has begun to beat and pump blood. The heart is dividing into chambers and will find a more regular rhythm soon. Your baby is about a quarter of a centimeter long and looks more like a tadpole than a human being and is about the size of an apple seed. The baby will have a growth spurt this week - the first of many!

The baby is  busily growing all his major organs, including the kidneys and liver. The intestines are developing and the appendix is in place. The neural tube, which connects his brain and spinal cord, will close this week.

All these internal developments are matched by changes on the outside, too. The buds that will grow into your baby’s arms and legs begin to sprout. And below the opening that will later form your baby's mouth, small folds exist where the neck and the lower jaw eventually develop.

 The yolk sac produces red blood cells and nutrients for your baby. But early versions of the placenta and umbilical cord are already at work, and preparing to take over this job.
The placenta's cells are burrowing into the lining of your uterus, creating microscopic fingers of tissue (chorionic villi). Once the placenta is fully functioning by the end of this week, it will be able to make nutrients for your baby and take away his waste products. The umbilical cord delivers those nutrients, and oxygen, to your baby.

My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Sore/ heavy/ larger bbs
- Tingly nipples
- Fatigue
- Feel hot at night and cold during day
- Cramps
- Bloated

Best Moment Of The Week:

Telling my parents and some of my aunts. I did the baby on board sign like I did with my sister. It took my dad FOREVER to see it but when he did he was smiling so big and then came over to hug me. My mom was not even to the back of the car before she saw it. She was super excited as well. My brother had...no reaction, lol.

I want to tell my friend "K" but she just had a baby and her baby shower is this weekend. I want that moment to be all about her so I will probably wait until the hub-bub is over and tell her the next week.

Milestones:

I am super super tired. I could sleep all day and not even think about it. I have not been sick since the last week. Sleeping is rough because I am probably up every 2-3 hours to go to the bathroom.
Last night DH cooked ribs and I told him that the house smelt like it was burning down. Apparently they had just gone in the oven, lol. Needless to say I had to open every window in the house because the smell was so awful to me.

Appointments:

I have an appointment with Dr. S on the 9th. Really excited to tell him the good news. He has been there since after the last miscarriage and through the medication so he knows how big of a deal this is for us.

Thoughts:

I am still really nervous and everything tends to freak me out. I have been cramping really badly ..well..badly compared to last time which was nothing. I looked it up and asked a few people and it seems it is really normal as long as it is not accompanied by bleeding. The cramping gets bad if I am moving and standing. If I am sitting or laying I feel nothing. Apparently the cramping is the uterus stretching and the baby settling in but with everything we have been through I am just trying to be careful because I cannot take another heartbreak.

Other Info:

I went shopping with "M", my best friend, on Saturday and got to tell her. That was awesome. We went across the border to Ross and Marshall's and I scored some pretty awesome deals. Some awesome maternity wear and toys, clothing and essentials for baby. Hard to imagine that is only a 1/8 of what we will need when the baby finally makes its way here!
DH's dad finds out friday and his mom next tuesday. Seems like forever away!

5 Week Photo:

Just some tummy bloating...other then that nothing new!

And So It Begins...

Yesterday I think I had my first real craving and pregnancy moment. DH asked what I wanted for dinner and I said a roasted chicken from the grocery store...its not like I was sending him out to get it...he had to grocery shop anyway...lol. But....ever since those words came out of my mouth for the rest of the day I was thinking roasted chicken...day dreaming about roasted chicken...CRAVING roasted chicken.

Then...DH calls...the store was all out of roasted chicken. Unacceptable. This pregnant lady wanted one. So I called the other grocery store by our house...ensured they had one...and....they had ONE left! I made them set it aside for DH and told him to drive over and it would be waiting for him. When he got home I could not even help him unpack the groceries.... I was too set on chicken! Ten minutes later fully fed and happy I could then help him unpack the plethera of items.

The only other thing I have going on food wise is exactly like last time...a deep hatred of anything packaged and processed. The mere thought of it makes me grimace. Oh...and my DH hunts...and the thought of deer meat at the moment makes my stomach turn as well. Which is unfortunate because the freezer is packed with it.

Yesterday was the family picnic and I told my family. They were super excited. My mom kept referring to herself as "g-ma" all day, lol. Next up is DH's family. Hopefully the same reaction will follow. I know it will not be a big surprise to anyone because they know what we want but I still hope they will be super excited.

Does It Get Easier?

I just want to say right off the bat this post is NOT about me complaining about my pregnancy symptoms.

What I have wondered since Monday when we found out is ..."Does it get easier?" Do the thoughts and anxiety and worries about losing another baby while pregnant go away or do they stay with you? Since our losses in September and December and now being pregnant again I worry every sneeze, bowel moment, wrong twist or turn or sensation is cause for worry. I do NOT want to spend this pregnancy worried. I want to enjoy every millisecond of it...but...how does a person get over that?

Even though there are worries I am still kicking in to high gear to prepare. Last night I told my sister. After our second loss she ask that when we got pregnant again she be told first and right away. I had to go pick up more meds from the pharmacy and when I was there I happened to pass down the baby isle where this sign caught my eye....

I proceeded to her work and went up to the counter and asked if she had a moment. I was super serious. I am surprised I kept a straight face. I told her I needed two minutes to show her something on my car. She looked worried. As she should be...I've had been in three car accidents in like 6 months so there was cause for worry. We walk to the parking lot and to the back of the car where I had placed the sign in the rear window. It took her a moment but when she finally saw her her jaw dropped open and I got the biggest hug. Such a great moment to share with her! I told her she could NOT tell me parents because we were telling them at the family picnic on Sunday. She was slightly miffed when she heard the due date as she will be going away to school in September but I just told her that means she has to come back! I am enjoying telling people the news and am hoping I can keep it in until we tell the whole family. I will be posting on facebook probably sometime after our 12 week scan...just to be safe...


DH and I decided last night that because the last time we told everyone and gave them gifts we should do the same this time around as well. Last time we bought all the grandparents Pack N' Plays as a way to say we wanted them to be very much a part of this journey with us. This time I think I found something else pretty awesome!

We will be giving each set of grandparents a "Grandparent Journal" that they can share things about them and their family history and their thoughts during my pregnancy, first years and teen years. They then can gift that to their grandchild as a remembrance of their lives and how they felt during the time they spent with them. It takes a bit of commitment on their part to fill it out but hopefully it will be something that will interest them!


As for other news I get quite a bit of cramping when I get up from lying down or sitting and had a nosebleed this morning but other then that barely any morning sickness today! My bbs are still very sensitive but I love seeing how my body is preparing once more for our beautiful baby. DH has been on cloud 9...I am so thankful I could give him this amazing gift ...I just know how great of a father he is going to be. He is already thinking about the birth and spending time with the baby after that. I think it is sort of killing him not being able to tell anyone at work...I do not blame him...I am having a hard enough time keeping it in myself!!


BTW - My ticker today reads:

4 Weeks Pregnant!

The ball of cells – now called an embryo – growing inside your uterus (womb) is the size of a poppy seed. It's dividing into three layers that will later form organs and tissues.
The neural tube – from which the brain, backbone and spinal cord, and nerves will sprout – develops in the top layer. The heart and the circulatory system begin to appear in the middle layer. The third layer starts to house the lungs, intestines and beginnings of the urinary system.

Pregnancy Week 4 - Size of Poppy Seed

The yolk sac produces red blood cells and nutrients for your baby. But early versions of the placenta and umbilical cord are already at work, and preparing to take over this job.
The placenta's cells are burrowing into the lining of your uterus, creating microscopic fingers of tissue (chorionic villi). Once the placenta is fully functioning by the end of this week, it will be able to make nutrients for your baby and take away his waste products. The umbilical cord delivers those nutrients, and oxygen, to your baby.

My Pregnancy Symptoms:

- Sore/ heavy/ larger bbs
- Heartburn
- Nausea
- Fatigue
- Warmer daily/nightly temperature
- Cramps
- Nosebleeds

Best Moment Of The Week:

<----Telling DH! This is what I did...
The sign reads:
"We have a bun in the oven. Baby Angell due March 26, 2013"

He didn't get it at first (what a guy, lol) and then totally clued in when he read the sign. I thought the pregnancy tests would be a dead give away! After it finally registered he started jumping up and down...seriously...best moment ever. I cannot wait to tell our family members...I have to wait until the end of next week to tell my family and his dad (on his birthday) and then we tell his mom on her birthday (the 31st).

Milestones:

The morning sickness officially stated kicking my ass this morning. It totally caught me off guard and was literally running to the bathroom. I am grateful for every symptom and sign of pregnancy I get though. Just so happy to be here.

Thoughts: I am super nervous. All day yesterday I think I was shaking. Yesterday was also the birth of our good friends daughter and holding her I just started tearing up. What amazing timing. At 8:30AM I tested and 8:45AM they messaged me to tell me about her arrival. I could not have planned that any better. However at the hospital I was bursting at the seams! It took everything in me not to blurt out the news...especially since I had not told DH yet!
Tonight I think I am going to convince DH to buy this journal I found online that is just for grandparents and we can give that to each of them. I think it would be really special for them to keep track of their own thoughts and such especially since this is the first grand-baby on either side!

Other Info:

The second I saw two pink lines I was running around the house trying to find my meds to start taking them again. Usually I would take them right before bed which is great because they make me sleep quite well but because I started them in the morning I am slowly working my way back to take them in the evening again. Not sure how many more of these restless/no sleep nights I can take! I have to take the meds until the end of my first trimester and then slowly ween myself off because by that time my body should be producing mega amounts of progesterone for the baby and will have no need for the meds.
Fingers crossed that this will be a happy, healthy and worry free pregnancy!

4 Week Photo: 
 

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

Freaking out people. SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT... I cant breathe. Whoa.



Test taken 8:30AM Monday July 16, 2012.
Based on the day I was supposed to ovulate but never got a positive my due date is....


                                                               MARCH 26, 2013!!!

And this was just taken at 9:00AM.....

Ugh...

P.S - I just flipped over my husbands calendar to see what he had up next month and this is what I found....

Perhaps what makes it so much harder is seeing it in DH's handwriting with that happy little exclamation point.

Let the tears commence...

The Case Of The Missing Blogger

Hello fellow bloggers. I have been MIA which I do not have an excuse for. Just kinda taking a break I think. It all got to be a little much.

As for this cycle....I never got a positive OPK...so thus I have no idea when or if I ovulated and then because of that I could not take the drugs because I had no idea when to start. Soo...this cycle is pretty much a dud. With everything going on DH and I really haven't been all that timely on DTD either so my hopes for this cycle are pretty much at a negative.

The only thing I am fearful of at this point is because I have not taken the drugs that my cycle will become long with irregular ovulations. No way to know until the 19th which is when I am supposed to get AF.

As for the symptom front there is really nothing. So again...not holding on to any hope.

The clock keeps ticking and I feel further and further behind. August 18th marks the date of our Angel babies birth. Who would have thought I would still be sitting here as empty and frustrated and confused as I was so many months ago. It has got to come to an end at some point....right?