Tuesday 24 April 2012

Ready

Today I put on the wrong pants. I do not think you understand how big of a statement that is. I put on pants that had been way to snug and I could barely sit in them let alone breath and today...tada...they fit and I didn't even realise it until they were on! lol. Here I am SITTING DOWN at work and I cant believe it. I guess this challenge is really working out for me. Yay!

I had a moment of sadness/guilt the other day. I was talking to a good friend on facebook (one of the ones who is pregnant who I have been avoiding like the plague) and she basically came out and said she has been trying to give me space and she understands but she really misses me. Ugh, I'm a sucky friend. I just...well...it has been hard ok? And to be truthful it will not get easier until I am there. And I am hurt and upset by the fact that I know when I get pregnant again every day will be a struggle not to be thinking about the possibility of a miscarriage. So many people get to go through pregnancy without a care in the world...why could that not have been me? Life goes on but my heart has been left back in time...it is hanging back waiting and I seriously really do feel that hole.

So....is it May yet? DH called me last night and was like "Hey, we can try in like three weeks, right?!" and I was like. "Nope" and he was all sad and then I said, "TWO WEEKS!" lol. So body of mine...have you had enough time to recuperate?! I hope so because we are ready for a baby. Like...really really ready. Like NOW.
Get it? Got it? Good.

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