Just the sheer thought of a doctors office does not bring joy into my heart. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my doctor. He is sweet and kind and listens. He actually cares.
Yesterday I went to the doctors office to get more pain medication, update him on my fertility treatments and plans and to do a follow up on the accident I was in. When I first walked in the door that should have been my first clue to run...run very far. The place was packed. And then I find out that their phones and internet was down which meant they had to do everything in writting. When I got there some people had already been waiting an hour and a half. So I sit down and wait...and wait...and WAIT some more. Then when my name is finally called I get walked as far as the hallway and the doctor rushes out of a room and says to call 911. Apparently someone was having a seizure or something while in the room with the doctor and now needed to get to the hospital ASAP. I fianlly get into the doctor, we talk, I get my referrals to a back specialist and pain medication and am on my way...THREE HOURS LATER. By this time I have already had to call and cancel my physio and massage appointments.
You think that is bad...oh wait...I have not even told you the worst part yet. The part where I burst into tears in the waiting room. Yup, totally did.
There was a girl/woman about my age sitting across from me very jittery, etc the whole time. She looked pretty nervous and was with someone who looked to be either family (aunt/older sister) or a friend. She goes in and comes out in tears. Shaking. And then the madness starts. She is standing in the middle of the waiting room crying saying...(wait for it....) "But I don't want a baby! This is awful..why is this happening to ME? This is the worst day of my life." Cue the tears on my part. Inside I am raging. I was very close to hitting her...but that would not have been very nice as she was pregnant...(haha). Here I am...waiting to talk to the doctor about my fertility treatments, the medication I am on for the accident and how I have to make a choice between that or trying, my updates on my cycles, etc and she has the NERVE to say being pregnant constituted the worst day of her life!? Thankfully I did not have to deal with it for very long before the person she was with ushered her out of the clinic. Even so..I think her words will haunt me for some time.
DH ending up coming home late from work and I got through telling him about my day fine until it hit that story and again I was in tears. Sometimes I really feel as if I am being punished...for what..I don't know...but some of the experiences I have had in the last couple months sure are not full of luck. This process is exhuasting and I do not know how much more I can take. I see girls who have been at this a year..two years...three years and then I get REALLY afriad. Please god...do not let that be me. Only time will tell but emotionally I feel like I am running out of that as well...
Hopefully this weekend away will do me some good. Time to relax and laugh and have some fun with my mom and sister (whos birthday is today! Happy birthday sis!). More on that when I get back though. I probably will not be blogging until Monday because of that. Most likely no internet. Until then have a fabulous weekend...and stay away from doctors offices...no good can come of them! lol
Oh honey. I'm so sorry that was such an awful experience. I think waiting rooms at doctor's offices are the seventh circle of hell for that very reason. (In case you're curious, I put OB waiting rooms at the 9th circle . . .) Our emotions go up and down so much, it makes it hard to be rational about anything. I hope this weekend is better for you and a lot of fun. :-)
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