CD1
And so it begins again. However...starting this cycle there will be some major changes.
For one - my doctor has approved my short term medical leave from work starting July 2nd. I will be off for the next three months in more intensive therapy and rehab for the accidents. He also prescribed me a counsellor to see for the panic attacks I now have when driving/being driven around.
For two - DH and I have decided we want us back. And that means no more stressing. We got pregnant twice before...its bound to happen again...so we are just going to carry on normal...and by normal I mean eating what I want, drinking what I want (oh martinis how I have missed you) and DTD when I want. Life is too short for this.
What I WILL continue are the OPKs..just so I can track my cycle. And then...once I get pregnant again...BAM I will start taking the prometrium. This is not set in stone and could change...but as for now that is the decision we came to. As for DTD we will loosely follow the SMEP (sperm meets egg plan). But again...not set in stone.
We are both emotionally and physically tapped out. How fitting that we come to this decision yesterday with today being the start of a new cycle. This also means I will stop regulating DH alcohol and coffee intake. I didn't then...and it obviously isn't working now...so screw that.
I have not been getting out much - fresh air, sunshine, etc - in the last couple months so I will be focusing more on getting that as well. I may not be able to get back to running, biking or hiking yet but I can still read a good book in the sun...that is...if the sun will ever grace us with its presence. It seems all we get lately is rain or just blah weather. Mostly I just want to get back to being happy, sunny, optimistic, loves life me. I can't wait to be her again...she's pretty freaking awesome, lol.
I will still post...maybe not all that often as I do now but I am not going anywhere. And you as my supportive, loving TTC family will be among the first to know when I have some good news to share.
So sorry Kyla :( hang in there and I hope you find yourself this cycle. I totally know how you are feeling and it stinks! Thinking about you!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry! You've had a rough few months! Sounds like you need to take some "me" time. I'm starting to feel like I'm at the same point. It's been 10 months since my first loss and 7 since my second. I'm just so tired of trying and then feeling like a failure every month :(
ReplyDelete