Welcome to my morning of sadness. Yes, today I am feeling like a bit of a downer.
It is really hard watching cycle after cycle pass me by as seemingly unaware women get pregnant by chance...accident or whatever else the hell you want to call it. The other day I got told to "relax and it will happen" again. I think that is my all time despised phrase for this time in my life. So not helpful.
I am really tired of disappointing DH....and myself. There is nothing like not being able to do a normal female function like getting pregnant that starts to make a person feel like a complete and utter failure. When I told DH that I was 100% sure I was not pregnant last night he said, "But we did everything right!". Unfortunately that is the sick twisted game that TTC plays. Yes...the ducks were perfectly aligned but I guess they got distracted...shot or died somewhere along the way. (Wow that was dark...)
Tomorrow is my birthday...that will be a good distraction. For now I am feeling sad and alone. The people around me who had losses are already pregnant again. I am starting to feel like I really do not know what else I can do to help the process. Like DH said...we literally did everything right this cycle. BDing was planned perfectly...I followed a fertility diet...I rested, prayed and meditated...went for acupuncture and started taking the prometrium when my temp rose....WTF uterus...what more do you want!?
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