Today I am feeling really thankful. Although so many people in our lives do not understand what we are currently going through I am thankful for those who are letting us take this at our own pace. It is nice to know we have so many people available to us if and when needed. Some I have taken up on that offer as of very recently and others I have passed by.
I have been told I am doing quite well despite recent circumstances. Personally I don't even know how I am supposed to be "handling" this so I am just taking it as it comes. My husband has been an amazing rock. He has been excellent at listening to all my questions, fears and statements without judgement or annoyance... even when I have asked the same thing probably millions of times over the last two weeks. He has let me feel without being afraid for my emotional well-being. This shows me that he truly has gotten to know how I am over the last couple years.
Currently I am of the thought that there is nowhere to go but forward from here. After talking about it with my husband we feel that trying again will be a big part of the healing process for us. As most would say we are ready to "jump back on the horse". I have been given no medical reason as to why we cannot continue trying for our little bundle of joy. Emotionally the miscarriage did not break me. Sure it was hard and something that I might always carry with me but I am still filled with a great amount of hope.
The internet has been a great resource to me. I feel comforted by the many groups I have joined such as my January POAS Party page (*waves*). It continually fills me with hope to see other women on the same board who are hoping for (what I have just learnt is) a "rainbow baby" so soon after miscarriage and have now fallen pregnant once again. Some after as little as one cycle!
So where does that leave me now you ask? Well, I rejoined Fertility Friend and have been temping and using my OPK religiously. Although it is frustrating to see I am still testing negative I have to keep reminding myself my body is still adapting. I could still have high HCG levels and it is still early on in my cycle.I still had a positive HPT as of last week so my levels could still be up fairly high. Although I test REALLY sensitive...I can get a BFP on an HPT 8DPO...which is really early. If my cycle is indeed on track and hasn't been put wildly out of place I should OV around this wednesday (fingers crossed). Sooo...here's to lots of hope, prayers and tons of baby dust sent my way!
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