The Hard Moments

Yesterday was a tough one. I received a very unprofessional call from a lady at my doctors office informing me of an appointment made for me and my baby (ouch). After many tears and a sleepless night I decided to take the day off and stay at home. I wasn't feeling well to begin with and that just pushed me over the edge.

Rewind to about just over two months ago: 

DH and I had just found out we were pregnant we went to the Dr's office to get referrals because my GP doesn't handle maternity. We told him we had just seen a midwife but she was not someone we felt comfortable handling the pregnancy after a very umm...intrestesting meet and greet and thus needed some suggestions from him on who might suit my personality and birth plan. He said he would look into it and get back to me. 

Weeks passed and we didn't hear from him but we never followed up as we mc a few weeks later. 

Fast forward to yesterday: 

It came as a surprise to me that I was getting a call from my Dr's office regarding an OB because I had been in the hospital two consecutive days due to my mc. Apparently that info from the hospital never got forwarded to my doctor... So now after having to recap the last couple weeks to this random women on the phone about my mc she pretty much gets frustrated with me and goes on to say regardless of the "situation" I have to call and cancel the appointments made by her myself. I then question this saying I had no idea of the appointments so why would I have to cancel an appointment I never made and shouldn't there be extenuating circumstances for things like this where my health care provider would step up so I, in the midst of going through the upsetting process of a mc, should not have to take on anymore stress? She never once apologized for the mishap of my mc not being on file and the over sight of the office and lightened her tone which frustrated me to no end. What made me more upset is she can tell I am crying on the phone after telling her of the mc and how her tone and words she chose were really upsetting me she tells me "she doesn't know what I am talking about she doesn't have a tone and I am the one who is being unhelpful. I need to take the number from her and call and cancel the appointment." So after that I get give up frustrated, take the number from her and hang up so upset knowing that is one more call I have to make and why do I even have a health care provider if this is how things are handled? 

Personally I believe there were so many ways she could have handled that call differently...even just by softening her tone and ending the call right after hearing of the mc and going back to the Dr to explain the situation. I doubt that would have been unacceptable. But its too late for that, I, after being scolded for not being cooperative by this random women and am now uncontrollably sobbing. After some hugs from DH and a call to my mom I call back the office to get the name of the women I just talked to so I can ask that she never have contact with me ever again. The problem is...she answers the phone. And when I ask for her name she get extremely upset telling me she has never in 5 1/2 years been complained about and she could barely understand me on the phone and if she would have known that I had a mc (hmmm, interesting, I never mentioned this on the second call so she obviously heard me..) she would have talked to me different. Well I proceed to tell her that she must of heard me quite well because she carried on quite a good conversation for someone who couldn't hear me and from one customer service professional to another I would have handled the call very differently. She ends the call by telling me that she was just doing her job. Oddly enough I doubt very much that is how protocol is followed for a situation like that....

This morning I received a personal phone call from my doctor who profusely apologized for two things.
1. That he had no idea about my mc because the hospital had never sent over the records so he was under the impression I was still pregnant and
2. They have had numerous problems with the women who spoke to me and her job contract will not be renewed and she will never handle my file again.
My doctor then went on to make sure that I in no way thought the mc was something I or DH did. He was so concerned and it really touched my heart that he cared about DH and I that much emotionally to make sure we were under no impression that it was a fault of our own. He encouraged us to keep trying and to keep positive and that he was there for us if need be. THIS is why he is my doctor. Bless his heart.

To be quiet honest it is hard to be happy about someone losing their job because all I really think she needed was some retraining and some lessons on tact but nonetheless it is what it is. I am just glad I do not have to find a new Dr because I seriously considered that last night during my restless night of sleep. I certainly did not want to stay somewhere that treated their patients with that amount of disrespect. 

But on to today...because that is all one can do..move on. I am STILL not ovulating and waiting waiting waiting. So here I sit on the couch watching the snow fall from the sky and TLC's What Not To Wear drinking my copious amounts of water.

I was actually thinking about it today how wonderful it would be to have a November baby. So even if I don't ovulate for another week I am actually looking forward to that possibility. Its nice after all this upset to actually be excited and looking forward to something. Let's hope that feeling lasts...