Confusion

Yesterday I must have had a dud OPK because it didn't work - the whole strip was washed out blue when I took it out of the digital reader...not cool. Normally I would just use another strip but I only have one left and my new strips only get delivered today or tomorrow so I dint want to chance missing my surge. Because of this I told DH we just simply just HAD to DTD just in case. Needless to say he very willingly obliged. No surprise there.

My temp had a big dip yesterday morning but I think that is perhaps because I had a really awful nights sleep. I was so restless and just tossed and turned the whole night waking up to a temp of 96.6...very low. My temp this morning was 97.0 which is my cover line usually so who knows what is going on.

I was REALLY REALLY REALLY hoping to get a positive HPT before I had to plaster a smile on my face at a baby shower this next weekend but it looks like no such luck. Part of me is wondering if I perhaps missed my surge...and if I did then I am definitely NOT pregnant because my temps have not stayed above the cover line. Last cycle I OV at CD31 so who knows what is going on....CD23 today and waiting, waiting, waiting. Just really praying this is not an anovulatory cycle. That would be a HUGE bummer. I know that happens sometimes after a miscarriage but that would be seriously devastating.

I am actually really looking forward to this evening...I have a much needed girls night with my mom as DH is working late. We are going to dinner and then the movies to see "The Vow". No lies, I will cry. I can't remember what was on the other day but it was hardly emotional and I could just feel the tears surfacing... I have turned into a psycho emotional lady apparently...lol.

My chart says a possible start of AF on the 11th (just freaking perfect...the DAY of the baby shower)...if that is indeed true and I have not ovulated yet but will that means that I will have a very short lutal phase or I just missed ovulation all together. I really wish there was some easier way to know what was going on "down there". 

I really wish I had been one of those lucky women who the MC actually regulated their cycle back to a close 28 days. But no. not even close. I am still searching for that silver lining to one of the most devastating days of my life.