I do not want to get myself too excited but I am experiencing some REALLY good signs of impending ovulation. My CM is EW and very stretchy and and my CP is so high I can barely reach it. It is not incredibly soft but it is also pretty open. Today is CD29 so I am right in the window I thought I would be for ovulation between March 7-9th. DH called this Wednesday for OV so he was a little miffed that he might have been off by a day, lol. Even though I OV CD31 of last cycle this cycle seems to be taking F-O-R-E-V-E-R...
New things I have Incorporated:
I have started drinking red raspberry leaf tea. Apparently that is supposed to make for a good strong uterus preparing for pregnancy and then a shorter delivery when consumed weeks 35-38 during pregnancy. It is also a good substitute for green tea as green tea blocks the folic acid supplement of pre-natal vitamins. I can drink RRLT up to about 38 weeks if I get preggo but they don't suggest after that. Having a hot drink option is great because normally I would do hot chocolate or something but I do not want to be concerned with the caffeine intake since I cut it out completely and RRLT has none.
On other news there is snow on the ground. I live in the Fraser Valley (BC). It seems as though mother nature just can not make up her mind...sun was shining during christmas and now at spring break we have snow. Oh well, glad to know she messes up things other then my bodily functions - haha.
Something else I want to touch on is my detachment from those who are currently pregnant. Friends, colleagues, family, etc. I never considered myself to be a vindictive person but suddenly when pregnancies are popping up everywhere I just can't seem to contain myself. At work there was this one girl who I use to talk to every day...and now...it actually hurts to see her and her 7 month belly. I also have three friends who are pregnant very recently. One who found out right around the same time as me and one who announced just a few weeks ago and another who was due within days of me before so we really bonded then. I have put very little effort in to communicating with them since the MC. Here is the interesting part though...people with kids...you all are fine. It is not the people WITH kids I seem to have a blatant disregard for it is the ones who are in that middle stage. Love kids. In fact...I am pretty darn great with kids. It is not kids or the parents of whom I have a problem with.. It is you glowing -shout it from the rooftops-pregnant couples. Oh yah, did I mention its just not the women..its the men of the women too. After all, you got her pregnant so your right in that nice box of disregard as well. So pathetic, right?
If anything this experience has taught me so much. Not only things about my own body but about TTC and pregnancy do's and don'ts. There is so much information out there. All the chat boards I am on have been so much help as well. I am TRYING not to dwell too much in the past so I have not joined any MC boards. Most of the ones I am on are related to TTC. I certainly have my moments of sadness/hostility/anger but because I am a generally upbeat person those emotions are soon replaced with another.
Currently the feeling I have is that I am fairly certain I will not be able to move on past some of my emotions until I have that sweet child in my arms. Until then it is honestly a daily struggle between wanting to be the naive person I once was and coming to terms with the person I am today.
I totally feel you on distancing yourself from pregnant friends and acquaintances. A good friend of mine got pregnant late last year, announced it in the worst way possible to us, and really I just haven't been able to get over it. I don't talk to her about her pregnancy, we talk about everything else. Work, hobbies, whatever. After the first major faux pas she has been totally accepting of my non-attention, though. So I don't think our relationship will be ruined forever. But other people . . . I just avoid. Or pretend I can't see their bellies. Maybe it seems weird, but it helps me get by.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a learning and healing process for me and knowing I am not alone in my crazy thoughts and feelings has helped. I am loving the support I have gotten from my fellow bloggers.
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